Faithfull
by Sarsel
Summary: An interesting pairing, but it doesn't really work out. Faith/Giles


For them, it was a power struggle, a testing of limits and of deep running emotion. They both saw it coming and drew back in fear but ultimately, forces even beyond those of their fevered moaning bodies and their hesitant minds, drew them together.   
  
Faith tried to examen what it was about him that made her so alert. It was a confusion of every day, what would he say, what would she do? Did he feel this insatiable burning like she did? His simple presence threw her mind into a death spiral and temptation awaited withen her grasp. She never acted on it. Faith: get some and get out, the girl without morals or ethics or self-restraint was too scared to go after what she truly wanted. She'd fucked Xander for christ's sake. Not because she really wanted to. Why had she done that? Well it was the kind of thing she did; the kind of stupid, unthoughtful thing people expected of her. And she tried not to regret it. She didn't regret it. The meaningless came so easy, and that almost made the important, emotional impossible. Maybe that was why she was drawn to him in the first place. He was all about importance and emotion. He was a statue and a symbol and the most unlikely conquest for her to ever pursue or achieve. The difference was incredably obvious to her. It was cake mix that her own little twisted mind liked to blend for hours. A punishment, a desire, a need she just couldn't escape. And ultimately it was something she was too scared of, or two unwilling to tarnish, so she left.  
  
Giles understood it a bit more thouroughly, at least he thought he did. She was 17, devilishly attractive, carnal to the extreme and he was a fool. His thoughts of her were inappropriate to say the least and Giles loathed himself for thinking them. They weren't the pleasure garden of sensually depraved delights that one might first expect regarding the object of his desire, but Giles was ashamed nonetheless. His thoughts were simply consumed with her. Whether she was near him or not, Rupert was aware of her and surrounded by her and he didn't even want to escape. On the worse days he had to listen to the youths malign her as evil and undeserving. He was forced to bare the Council's distate for her in the ever present fear and condemnation radiating from young Wesley. His soul demanded he defend her, but he could not. He could not acknowledge the depth of his obsession for her. He tried to give the outward appearance of considering her a third party; one non-involved with the relevant issues of the day. The alternative was raging at everyone to stop their own whining lives and consider life from her perspective. Giles could sense that for every angry and sarcastic comment, there was a deep fear and uncertainty enveloping her and Rupert desperatly desired to purge it and hold her and tell her she was normal and wonderful and unique and perfect. The power of this need to care for her and love her and yes, make sweet love to her and ravish her, was frightening to Giles and it was both a blissfull torture and an unwelcome relief when she left.  
  
Eventually the morning came and they were both nervous and terrified. When they had time to feel these emotions is vague, but for Faith it came between the time when she first woke to feel the warm rays of sunshine on her body, her eyes closed, until the moment she felt the presence of Giles body near her and had to make a decision. It lasted less than a minute and Faith was certain it was the most renching fifty or so seconds of her existance. Would he hate her? Would he demean her and call her a whore? Would he slink away, scared as Xander had? She knew what she had to do to defend herself. She had to get up and leave before he woke up. No, that wasn't defence, that was what she almost wanted to do. What her true actions would be would be getting up, getting dressed and making a lot of inconsiderate noise and then mocking him when he woke up. That was the surest way to keep her heart from being touched. Hit him where it hurt.  
  
She didn't want to do it. Usually she didn't want to do it but now she really, really didn't want to. Leaving now would be the easiest thing on both of them. She wouldn't hurt him and he couldn't hurt her that way.  
  
She didn't want to move. That was a new experience all together. She didn't want to leave. What would happen if she didn't leave? Could she just stay here in this warm bed that smelled like Giles and forget that the world existed?  
  
Probably not. She quickly slid out from under the sheets before she changed her mind and got her clothes off of the floor. She quickly slid them on and left. She didn't come back. 


End file.
